Hella cliche I know. But I was thinking about how the past UPenn hospital visits have only become increasingly difficult, with more doctors from different departments added on each time. It definitely took off in the “worse” direction around the time I decided to do the lung transplant evaluation. I was rambling to my friend about making lemonade out of lemon, even if it’s kinda shitty, just to make it edible enough is good enough for me.
I used to be someone who just kind of enjoyed bubble tea. But now bubble tea has taken on a whole new level of meaning for me. It’s the reward I looked forward to after my rough appointments and tests. It’s forever going to be ingrained as a positive memory I will cherish, grabbing Mr. Wish with my dad or my parents, a ritual you could even say.
So with all the rough memories that are occurring in my life, I am still trying my best to balance it out with each visit ending in lemonade, even if sometimes it’s only barely edible.
Create your own silver lining? It’s damn hard but I’m trying anyway.
On a slightly separate note, I think I’ve finally reached that point where needles don’t completely send me into a near anxiety attack. It’s my 20th or something blood test/needle in the last year, and now I kinda just stare at the needle in disdain. Still a bit nervous, but not nervewracking. You just don’t know how strong you are until you’re forced to challenge yourself consistently.