The other day, I was talking to an evangelist and gave him a very brief update on my life. I told him about my evaluations coming up and he asked me if I was scared. HECK YEAH I’M SCARED. But thinking about it and focusing on it and letting it paralyze me from my goals and living life isn’t the way to live. So I try not to let it disrupt me too much.
But I had a dream last night, one of those dreams where you wake up in a dream and don’t really realize you’re in one (Inception lol), and I was in a cozy hospital bedroom, and as I moved, I realized I could breathe a lot better than I ever did. However, as I moved, I realized that there was a deep wound under my right boob, and I realized I had gone under some sort of lung surgery. Then I was in pain, or however close pain can be replicated in your mind in an alternate reality, and then it was not so fun.
When I actually woke up, I realized that this alternate reality is not so alternate, and then I’d have to prepare for twice the amount of pain as a double lung transplant would mean an incision under both my boobs. This is fear.