Today, I want to talk about one of the reoccurring experiences I still struggle with accepting and going through, and that is first of all, how the lack of accessibility and modification of transportation in NYC is a huge detriment to many people who need it to get around and get opportunities. Second of all, being strong enough to withstand judgment from others, whether friends or strangers, on your invisible needs, and probably getting judged for it.
One thing I constantly have to be conscious of is how quickly I use up my spoons for the day. I modified some of my plans to tailor it to my needs, such as taking the train station in that is direct into the city. Second of all, I decided in the cause of preserving my energy, I used the elevator once I got into Penn Station. Third of all, even though I ran into a minor bump by trying to order a Lyft, and then ending up taking a taxi, I met up with my friends and got my taco as well. The broadway show Cats was a little weird since I felt there was no plot, but nevertheless I enjoyed the experience.
I was a bit tired, but during intermission went to seek out the handicap bathroom in which I found myself in a line of mostly elderly people with bad hips and canes. I knew I looked like I didn’t belong there, but I also knew in my mind and heart that I deserved to be there and it was my right to use that bathroom. What wore me down a little was a few ushers swinging by, looking right at me and speaking mostly directly to me that they “highly encourage those who are capable of taking the stairs to do so with the one downstairs”… after the second time, I got a bit defensive and exhausted, and told them there was a reason why I was using that bathroom in particular.
It was also annoying that the old lady in front of me invited another older man to cut in front to use the bathroom… I let him do so, but I wasn’t sure if it was out of kindness or guilt that I didn’t belong there.
Later on, we quickly racked up prices in using Uber to get around to the udon restaurant… It sucks that this is an extra price to pay as someone who has disability conditions, much like a woman having to pay for tampons and other needs just because she’s born with a vagina and menstruation cramps.
The world isn’t fair, and we have to try to find the courage to speak up for ourselves and for others. Acceptance is key, and I’m on my way there before I can embrace it and fight for the rights that we are entitled to.